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Home
> Controlling Anger
Controlling Anger
Here are a few anger management
tips for controlling your anger. We are currently working
on more anger management tips including anger management therapy,
anger management strategies, anger management techniques,
and much more.
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Poll |
| How do you control your anger? |
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Controlling
Anger
In reality most of our emotional problems are nothing
more than a failure to accept things as they are - in
which case it is patient acceptance, rather than attempting
to change externals, that is the solution. For example,
many of our relationship problems arise because we do
not accept our partner as he or she is. In these cases
the solution is not to change our partner into what we
would like him to be, but to accept him fully as he is.
There are many levels of acceptance. Perhaps we already
try to tolerate our partner's idiosyncrasies, refrain
from criticizing him or her, and go along with his wishes
most of the time; but have we in the depths of our heart
given up judging him? Are we completely free from resentment
and blaming? Is there not still a subtle thought that
he ought to be different from the way he is? True patience
involves letting go of all these thoughts.
Once we fully accept other people as they are without
the slightest judgement or reservation - as all the enlightened
beings accept us - then there is no basis for problems
in our relations with others. Problems do not exist outside
our mind, so when we stop seeing other people as problems
they stop being problems. The person who is a problem
to a non-accept- ing mind does not exist in the calm,
clear space of patient acceptance.
Patient acceptance not only helps us, it also helps those
with whom we are patient. Being accepted feels very different
to being judged. When someone feels judged they automatically
become tight and defensive, but when they feel accepted
they can relax, and this allows their good qualities to
come to the surface. Patience always solves our inner
problems, but often it solves problems between people
as well. |
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